Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited to move back and I would have to say, my feelings are mixed. I've really enjoyed living in Toronto and while I knew it wouldn't be a permanent move, I am a bit sad to go. It's been different living here while being able to do stuff versus when I couldn't do as much pre-transplant. I mean, I did as much as I could before the transplant but now that I can do more, I keep thinking of all the stuff we could do before we leave. I know we've seen a lot but there is always one more beach or festival or museum to visit. That is the great part of Toronto living.
I keep making comments like 'it's happened so fast' to which Isaiah usually responds 'ummm, no, it hasn't.' I don't mean that the transplant or waiting was quick in any way, it just feels as though we're leaving as I'm starting to feel great and ready to explore more. Which is suppose to happen, clearly the government isn't going to subsidize my rent for me to be vacationing in Toronto. They want to send me home as quickly as possible.
I do feel ready to leave medically. I feel as though I have a handle on the medication and what to do if something doesn't go right. I was not ready at my three month mark when they mentioned briefly if I should be discharged at that point (that discussion did not last very long).
I think I'm just being my typical self of becoming nostalgic about leaving a place even if it's not all full of excellent memories. I mean, I do have good memories of this place, but also some almost-died-not-so-great ones. I'm sure it's all the moving stress that is kicking in and causing me to think about all the positive aspects of Toronto and how much easier it would be not to move.
The non-nostaglic part of me is excited to be heading back to the Maritimes. I can't wait to see people again and head off to the beach. It will also be nice to have a quiet space that gets dark at night without using sleep masks. It was pointed out to me last night that I've lived in Toronto longer than I lived in Springhill. I will still continue to refer to Springhill as home though. Toronto was always a temporary move and I'll be back in two months for my 9 month checkup ready to visit a new museum or see a musical!
|We'll be back soon, Halifax!|