Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Mid week update

I have decided that this hospital thrives on bringing my hopes up only to crush them beneath it's cold uniform walls.

On Sunday, things were looking all set for discharge by the end of this week. The social worker, along with the CF nurse from Halifax, figured out all the funding for the vac machine and home care. Everything was finalized yesterday with direct billing and everything only for me to be told that my wound needs more surgery. 

Yes. Another surgery for me. 

The lung and surgerical team decided this week to call in the plastic surgeons for consult and aid in closing my wound. Yesterday, one of the plastic surgeons told me that without them operating the wound isn't going to heal well on its own, even with the wonder of the vac machine. He also said that operating would speed up the process by months.

I don't want another surgery. I want to go home. I was told I was going home this week and I was in complete 'going home mode.' I don't want to go back to the cold OR. Or have more IVs, or another cathedar. Or waking up being completely confused and thirsty. Or more time spent in this place with its lack of privacy and 1-ply toliet paper. I want my own bed dammit. 

I know, I know, "these things happen" and "it's just another bump" and "it's better to do it now than have to come back" and "it is what it is." I keep telling myself all of those things but for some reason none of them are super comforting.

The idea of another operation scares me. My body has gone through so much that to need another one so soon is overwhelming. And it's not the actual procedure itself that is freaking me out. It's the anatestic and having to be vented again. The whole 'put under' step is most dangerous part of most surgeries and my body is already so weak. I'm also terrified this will lead to furthur complications which will lead to further complications which get the idea.  

All of this may not even happen of course, the plastic surgeons want a recent CT scan before they'll commit to anything. Plus, they have to figure out where they are going to get the extra muscle to cover up the wound. The actual procedure involves taking muscle from somewhere else (yet to be determined), move things around, slap on a skin graft from bum tissue, put on a pressure vac for a week, and voila! one healed wound. 

So now I'm stuck here waiting for tests instead of packing to go home. The vac machine is still happily sucking up goo from the wound. Stupid wound. 


christina mccully said...

I don't even know what to say. I know what ever i say will not help because going home is always looking so good and to be told no. Thinking of you always

Dave VanSlyke said...

Well, this news is one big POOPIE!!!! The roller coaster continues and the track is rough and the hills are steep. There's not much you can do about this latest hiccup except roll with it and let it run it's course. Have faith that your body will rise yet again to the challenge and that you'll coast out the other side in a better state.

It sucks, I know - hang in there Alley!

helen soucoup said...

So sorry to hear this...darn surgeons, can't leave a person be...can you put them off for a while until you're a little stronger?...of course that means delaying going home longer too. Hope you can have a little peace in the midst of that place. Take a deep breath, cause you can, and cause that's what they aways tell us to do.

Sue said...

well this does suck! disappointment is one of the hardest things. At least they're not ignoring you by the sounds of it. Take heart, this too shall pass and you'll be bouncing around your workplace in Springhill in no time and this will all just be a memory! or bouncing wherever you want to bounce I suspect! hugs ...