Saturday, 19 October 2013

Can we please talk about something else?

On Friday I think I worked out why I can't haven't really been able to connect with any of the other people at physiotherapy. It is partly because I would rather listen to my podcasts but partly because I am trying so hard to not make the transplant stuff consume my life and if I have to talk about it at physio, it is just another part of my life being consumed by transplant talk. I know that is entirely irrational because the only reason I am at physio is because of the transplant. However, to me it is more like going to the gym rather than going to a place of 'treatment'.  The only exception is that this gym is full of 50 year-olds in baggy shorts instead of 20-somethings in tight lulu clothes. 

For my own psychological well-being, I need other things in my life than this damn surgery. I have tried my entire life to not let my disability define my identity that I don't want my life to be consumed by the transplant. I still need to go to art galleries, and out to restaurants, and make art, and read books, and do everything possible to not have my entire life be about this surgery. It is already such a huge part of my life, I mean I moved to Toronto to have the surgery, I don't need to consistently be talking about how long I've been on the list or about how I feel or about how hard it is to sit around and wait for a call. That is why I have my blog. :)

However, in physio, that is what every talks about. I do understand that it is like a support group for those who don't go to the actual support group. And yes, when I am post-transplant, I will probably want to compare scar healing rates with other people but I'm not there yet. I want to talk about Rob Ford's latest scandal (there seems to be a new one every week) or the NB protests or anything other than how much this sucks. Because I know it sucks. We all know it sucks. Can we please talk about something else*?

*I will probably contradict myself next week when I find my surgery soul-mate who I will talk about the transplant stuff with for hours while on the treadmill.

So the note of talking about something that a jazz band in the rock section of the ROM? Why yes, yes it is. Last night, we went to the Friday Night Live at the ROM where they had music, food, drinks, and best of all, no children running around the animal exhibits. 
I would not make a good paparazzi-ist.

1 comment:

Helen said...

Shoulda been a rock band!