Well, I returned to physio on Monday and managed to drag myself back on Wednesday too. As much as I don't like to admit that exercise is good for me, I'm feeling slightly more energetic. Although it may just be because I've spent a lot of time resting so my body is ready to do things. But it's most likely the exercise. And being back in a routine.
I like being in a routine and everything kind of falls apart when it goes away. Even though my routine is not very complex, I still feel better when it's there. I eat better, I sleep better, I just feel better all around. My motivational energy has improved somewhat. I gave myself a little pep talk of "even if the lung transplant doesn't happen for awhile or ever, there is no point spending what time you may or may not have feeling bad about the fact that you may or may not have that time to spend." It has helped somewhat but I still think there is something else dragging me down.
It's good though that I got some energy back as Isaiah is off to to NS today leaving me to my own devices for 6 days. He had a family emergency so has left the 'support person' role to whoever will answer their phone within a 2 hour radius of the hospital. But no, my cousin is on call for the 6 days except for one night when I have a friend visiting from NFLD (so excited!!!!!). Everyone was super thrilled when I told them, in the event of a call, they are responsible for tracking down my family members while I have a panic attack in the hospital bathroom.