Yesterday was much less crazy once things were settled. I'll be honest though, I woke up so mad at my body for not having made it. My oxygen stats were absolutely fine at the first, I just happened to be the one who panicked for some random reason. Why couldn't triggers be something vague like spaceships or the yeti? Instead, my panic comes from sitting in bed with my trach mask on. Stupid past experiences that were less than enjoyable....
Just so you don't forget, at this point I'm still hanging out in random ward with the man and his large family who was not pleased in any way about him also hanging out in random ward. Despite this, as promised the day before, my nurse washed my hair. It was simply magical. I think I may collapse into a heap of excitement when I can actually shower.
During the hairwashing, my nurse got the call that we were moving back up to ICU! Back I was transferred into the bed, everything piled around me, and off we were whisked back up to ICU.
Unlike last time where I was able to watch the entire thing with amusement, I had an anxiety attack again about being back in bed. Thankfully my nurse had one dose of Ativan ready for me and talked me through most of it.
All the nurses keep reminding me, it's normal to have panic attacks as mostly everyone else does being in ICU. I know that it's normal, but it does not make it less scary when it happens. Thankfully, because I was being transferred upstairs, someone else was being brought down, so one of the nurses brought the second half of my dose. The rest of the dose plus some time seemed to bring me back to myself.
My room is not the same as last time. I have a roommate which is unfortunate but I have a fantastic view. For the first time in three weeks I can finally watch the clouds go by.
The rest of the day was much more restful, with visits from family, and games. No more pooping blood and the big news...I got my catheter out! Hurray for peeing on my own! Now I just need to remember that I am peeing on my own and not push whenever the urge occurs. My nurse would not be pleased.