Tuesday, 7 October 2014


I talked to the psychologist today at my clinic appointment. It went well, it probably helped that I had just been told that my lung function had improved up to a fev of .77 so I was in a really good mood. The drugs are finally working!!

I basically just told him all my woes about feeling unmotivated and hopeless since being admitted to the hospital. He had a student with him who went into my entire life history. I'm not sure if that was a student thing or if every psychology visit starts off that way. How does one normally respond when asked 'how was your childhood?' or 'how was high school?' I have never really reflected on it to be honest. It was good I guess? As awkward as everyone else? Did they want a play by play of each year?

Although, he just repeated what everyone else has been telling me that "I'm under a lot of stress and waiting is hard so it's normal to have days or weeks where I don't feel like myself," it was still nice to talk to someone who is a bit removed from the situation.

I feel reassured to be told by someone outside my friends and family, that all things considered, I'm coping fairly well and to keep doing activities I enjoy and relying on my support systems. He didn't recommend medication as my unmotivation hasn't been stopping me from attending my appointments. Also, the depressed feelings have been slowly dissipating over the past week so hopefully things are on the upswing emotionally.

He did recommend I try a 'Mindful Way Workbook' that explains and walks through the steps to mindful meditation. I remember talking about that in a few of my recreation therapy classes and whenever we tried it, I mostly just felt sleepy. I put the book on hold at the library so we'll see if it has some techniques that will be helpful that don't put me to sleep.

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