Wednesday, 23 November 2016

It's okay to not make lemonade.

I just need to post a reminder to myself and anyone who might need it after reading way too many uplifting posts about 'learning life lessons' after transplant from the facebook group.

It's okay to not 'learn' anything from your hard times. I don't mean that to be a Scrooge but having an illness or cancer or losing someone doesn't have to make you a better person. You don't have to come out 'stronger' on the other side. Surviving it is enough. Putting one foot in front of the other and getting through every day is enough. You don't now have to be a 'better person'. You don't have to dance in the rain. You don't have to make lemonade. And you sure as hell don't have to be thankful for the experience.

And I don't want to bash on the people who do feel that their rough time or serious illness has made them a better person or changed them in someway. Of course it always changes you in some way. Any life experience does that. 

I just wanted to remind people that it's also okay if it isn't as life changing as all the motivational posters make it seem. You don't have to now save the world because you survived. You don't have make it look like it was easy. Sometimes lemons stay lemons. And that's okay.


LittleM said...

thanks for this... i kinda wonder if i needed it. its like it made more sense to me than ever before in this moment.

Dominique said...

Thanks Alley <3 I needed this reminder ;)

Anonymous said...

Wow Alley - I think a lot of us needed that. I've also been dealing with cancer, and just feel normal - not like a "winner" or like I've "learned a whole lot" or that I am a "better person in the end". We deal with the hand we are given, and we pray that life goes on, we trust that it will, and we take each day as it comes.....Lord willing.......Thanks for not always painting a rosy picture.