Monday, 20 May 2013

Awkward social settings

So I'm off to my friend's birthday party for the night (this would be a long weekend if I had weekends to consider anymore). I am generally an awkward person in social situations at the best of times but right now I am wondering how do I answer the dreaded "How are you?".

I mean no one really wants to know how you are doing, right? It is just a way to start the conversation or something to say to another person when really you would rather just sit there sipping your beer in silence.

I never know what to say anymore. To my close friends, I can say 'ok' and they really know what I mean. Because they know what is happening. What do I say to the friends who I have not seen in awhile?

I know what to say to complete strangers I say 'great!, how is everything with you?' I will never see these people again and disclosing your personal life to complete strangers makes people not want to sit next to you anymore.

It is the friends of friends who I never know what to say too. I might see these people once or twice a year at a dinner party or someones birthday and I know them enough to know their names, employment, and that they played softball last summer. I don't really know them well enough to talk about personal problems.

So when they say "How are you doing", do I let out a rant about how everything is pretty shitty right now? That I have been off work since February, my lung function had improved but then they went back down when I went to see the doctor early May and she basically told me that I needed a lung transplant in the next year or I was going to die and even with the transplant I would have 5 to 10 years more at best...?

That is probably not a good idea.

But in a few weeks if my friend is talking to them about what is going on, they might wonder why I didn't say anything. So for now, I've decided I just say 'fine' because no one really likes an acquaintance to spill their personal problems to them and also because ranting to people about death is probably not going to get me invite to many more birthday parties. 

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