Trying not to panic.

Well, there is now a plan. After complaining for so long about there being no plan, now that the doctors have one, I don't like it. I was informed early the evening that tomorrow morning, I was scheduled for a CT scan and to meet with the Doctor. The Toronto doctor was insistent that everything be done in Halifax even though the CF coordinator in Halifax pushed that I could just have it done in Amherst. Apparently not.

Then Friday morning, I'm scheduled for a bronchoscopy. Nooooooooo. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. This type of information can not be sprung on me. I need time to process the information and slowly let anxiety build over time. Learning about it two days in advance is not enough time to deal with the panic attacks.

None of this is to investigate my low hemoglobin but rather to figure out why my pft numbers are dropping and my CMV (the infection) numbers are climbing. My CMV infection numbers doubled in the past week even though I started the medication for it last week which makes no sense so everyone is concerned. Hopefully they'll find out something with my hemoglobin while they investigate everything else.

To avoid more panic attacks tonight, I carved a pumpkin given to me by a friend in Halifax and roasted the seeds. She said she wasn't going to use it so we strapped it in the car and brought it home. It was a good way to focus my mind on other things than fear of once again waking up in the middle of the bronch and having panic attacks the entire time. Roasted pumpkin seeds for all!!

We literally had to strap it down as it wouldn't stop rolling around the car.

Giant pumpkin, prepare to be gutted.

Happy Halloween!!