Start of week four of hospital stay: Boo

There was little good news today.

My white count continues to drop so they didn't want me to go anywhere. They're keeping me in until my white count comes back up to a reasonable level where I won't get an infection if someone sneezes on me. The boosters are being increased to a daily thing which is good as they'll probably help. The downside is that the booster stuff really burns when it goes in. I always want to yell at the nurses but it's not exactly their fault.

CT scan results have returned and I guess the good news is that the lymphoma hasn't massively spread everywhere. The bad news is that is hasn't shrunk and has grown in a few spots on the spleen and lungs. While they aren't 100% sure that the spots on my lungs are part of the cancer, it's a pretty good guess seeing as they initially thought it was the CMV infection but that it's negative on my bloodwork, it can no longer be blamed for spots on my lungs.

So, I'll stay here for the weekend getting white boosters and making sure my hemoglobin doesn't go crashing out. Once my blood work is stable, they'll let me leave. Next week, either as an inpatient or outpatient, I'll have a positron emission tomography (PET) scan which will show exactly where all the cancer spots are on my organs. It will show if the spots on my lungs are part of the cancer or another mystery. I was told it's also a good scan to have on file as it will be a good pre/post comparison as to how I react to the treatment.

After the PET scan and some 'chemotherapy training,' I'll start the once a week infusions for four weeks as an outpatient at the VG. I'm not sure why I have to have chemotherapy training seeing as they keep calling it 'immunotherapy' and reassuring me that it's way less invasive on the body. Apparently there are very few side effects which is a giant plus.

I'm very discouraged, I really wanted out of here today. I didn't sleep much last night so I didn't have much in my emotional bank to deal with the news that I wouldn't be leaving and that I had to start immunotherapy. It's possible I started bawling to the floor doctor about how much I wanted out of here. She was sympathetic but did not say that my tears had changed her mind about my scary low white blood cell levels. I'm trying to be positive and hopeful about everything but today has been less than successful. It's hard to be positive about having cancer. I do, however, remain hopeful.