Lungs

It's been a quiet few days. I've managed to sleep off most of the medication and effects from 'the night of the blood.' A few quiet days are fine with me. My excitement seems to all happen at once and intensely so I need time to recover in between. There have been a few progressions; I got the clearance to walk without my walker if I can find a friend to lug my vac machine for me; I may start exercising back in the physio room again; and I'm no longer on night feeds so the NG tube will be coming out soon!

I'm sure you've noticed that most of my posts have been about all the secondary 'incidents,' we'll call them, and not about my actual lungs.

My lungs? My lungs are amazing. Apart from some minor fluid on the sides, the fact that I still can't cough yet, and that I never breathe deep enough, things are currently smooth sailing.

Why haven't I written a post about how fabulous they feel yet? Partly because I'm still in shock and also because I'm blocking off that emotional waterfall until I have more energy to process it. Right now I feel like my focus is on hospital/get better mode. I'm doing what I need to in order to get out of here and it's taking all my energy.

That said, I still can't believe I'm on room air and able to breathe comfortably. It seems as though there was such a fast transition between using 1L oxygen for walking and stating low 90% to being on room air and stating at 95-96%. It's so unfathomable to me that I keep stopping at the various monitors to check my oxygen levels when walking around the unit.

The other reason I'm not raving about how amazing it is to be able to breathe is that for the first time in a long time, I don't need to think about it. I don't start coughing every time I walk anywhere or get slightly winded and it's becoming effortless. It's astounding how easy the body adjusts to change, for better or worse. And this is so very much overwhelmingly better that I can't wrap my mind around it just yet.