Forgetting about yesterday

Yesterday was a day that I'm going to pretend did not happen. Or as everyone else kept saying "tomorrow is a new day," thank goodness for that. Today is that new day.

This will be TMI but in the morning yesterday I basically pooped out a lake of blood. It was not a good start to the day. Especially for my nurse who had to deal with it all up immediately at the start of her shift (welcome to work, muhaha!). My hemoglobin levels were crazy low so my nurse rightfully panicked and summoned the Drs.

Despite this, I was determined to go for a walk until I sat up and felt dizzy enough that I thought I might pass out. The physiotherapist wisely decided it was not the day for me. The nurse and physio readjusted me back in bed and I basically slept the day away while being transfused 4 units of blood. No walk, no trach masking, just sleeping. If I hadn't been so sleepy due to the lack of blood, I would have been even more frustrated than I already was.

They did a GI scope around 6pm (which meant they stopped my food feeds) which showed a small bleed from my giant massive ulcer. The one upside is that there was a small clot so my body was trying to heal itself. Yay body! Sadly it clearly wasn't enough to stop all the bleeding so they added yet another clip (I don't know what these clips are made of or how they work), added more "please behave" spray to my stomach, and took a biopsy to see if I have a random "let's grow ulcers" bacteria living in my stomach.

After waking up from the scope, in the evening, I felt good enough last night to be trach masked for a little bit. But then my CO2 levels spiked while I was on it so they ended up switching me back within the hour.

Clearly my body was screaming at me to just take a day off.

Thanks to the magic of chemistry, I did have a fantastic sleep and had a early morning as I was woken up at 6am for a xray. I'm crazy hungry and since I changed rooms last night, the food people keep trying to deliver me food. I want to lunge at them and down the cartons of milk. Except then I would aspirate due to the trach and die so it's best if I don't. Now I'm waiting for physio to show up so I can finally go for a walk. I guess yesterday was just a stupid frustrating bump in the road to remind me that I can't control anything.

I think it's time for my walk!