I swear I'm not antisocial.

Physio was a bit more intense today as I had the treadmill going on mph and not kph. Funny how that makes a difference. It was super hot in the physio room which meant that I coughed quite a bit while I was getting started. I hate exercising at a regular gym because everyone is either super concerned or they glare at me as though I have the latest contagious disease. I thought the hospital gym would be better but the physio assistant came running over twice to see if I was ok and if I needed something to drink. I know he was just being nice but it was a bit annoying (as I had my water bottle sitting directly in front of me). Shouldn't they be use to people coughing seeing as every single person has a lung condition?

I also realized that I am way too socially awkward to bond with the other people at the gym. First of all, everyone that is in the same area as me is at least 20 years older. (The people with CF tend to be the only other young people there but of course we are banned to opposite sides of the gym). Not that I can't bond with older people but they seem to stick together and already all know each other by default of having spent a lot of time together in the physio room.

I'm not a chatty person so unless someone else initiates the conversation, I tend to just stick to myself. I know I should be bonding with the people who are going through the same experience but I honestly don't want to talk about how there aren't enough lung donors or about how long you have been on the waiting list (those seem to be the two topics up for discussion today). I didn't feel like I had anything to add to the conversation. It probably doesn't help that I tend to listen to my podcasts while on the treadmill or bike which doesn't exactly invite conversation (in my anti-social defense, the physiotherapist told me they don't like people talking while on the machines as it stresses the body more and the person should be focusing on breathing correctly instead of talking). The one conversation I had today was about how they needed more fans.

The other way to bond with people would be through Isaiah as most of the 'caregivers' sit together while everyone is on the machines. Isaiah is not one of those people as the one time he came with me, he sat by himself and played on his phone while waiting for me to tell him to disinfect something. It also doesn't help that he is the least chatty person in the city. He is definitely not about to start a conversation with someone about how long they have been on the transplant list and how that makes them feel.

I'll just stick to myself for now and eventually a new person will show up and I can befriend them with all of my intimate knowledge about how they really really need more fans.