I only wish I could stop the voice in the back of my head from saying 'Is this going to be your last Canada Day?' or ' Do you think you'll be stuck in a Toronto hospital this time next year?' or 'Should have gone to Ottawa for Canada Day when you had the chance'. This voice tends to be more prevalent during annual milestones (birthdays, holidays, etc) as well as when friends discuss future events (weddings, concerts, babies, etc). I know no one has a guarantee of a future but I hate sometimes knowing that I might not have much of one left.
To be fair and less depressing, I have taken some risks and chances in my life that I might have otherwise not taken because I knew that if I pass it up, I might not get the chance again. Not to say that I have taken every opportunity that life has thrown my way but I do try to say 'yes' to as many as possible. I also like to think that I get less stressed about minor inconveniences in life because of this perspective (do not try to confirm this with my partner).
All in all, I have to accept that there are some circumstances you can not change. Maybe in the end, it is better to know what the circumstances are rather than assume you are guaranteed 82 or 78 years of life (Canadian women vs men). It would be horrible to discover one day that the years you had set aside for when you would 'start living and finding meaning in life' are no longer a possibility. I think that would be much worse. Lesson of Canada Day: Appreciate the present and be meaningful with your time!
I'll let you know when I figure out how to turn off that nagging voice in the back of my mind.
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2 comments:
It was Great to see you. I think about you every day!
Great to see you too!
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